I Won't Be Afraid
by PeteM
Summary: Pure Willow/Xander mush.


  
TITLE: I Won't Be Afraid  
AUTHOR: Peter Meilinger  
SUMMARY: Pure Willow/Xander mush.  
TIMELINE: Future.  
SPOILERS: None.  
RATING: PG  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters or the song, and I'm not trying to profit from this story.  
DEDICATION: To Vic, Meg, Jen and Dot. Because they put up with my mush addiction.  
  
****  
  
The song starts to play and suddenly I'm in Xander's arms, just like always. I lay my head against his chest, and listen to the beat of his heart and the rhythm of the bass, as we start to slowly sway to the music.  
  
He buries his head in my hair and brings his mouth to my ear and sings the lyrics to me as we dance, just like he always does.  
  
"When the night has come," he breathes into my ear, "and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we'll see."  
  
I raise my head to look into his eyes. I love to watch him when he says this part. He smiles at me and goes on.  
  
"No, I won't be afraid. Oh, I won't be afraid," he sings. "Just as long as you stand, stand by me."  
  
I nod through my tears. You'd think I wouldn't cry after all these years, but I always do.  
  
Xander brushes my tears away. "So darlin', darlin', stand by me. Oh, stand by me. Oh, stand, stand by me. Stand by me."  
  
I hum along with the background as Xander pulls me even closer.  
  
"If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall, or the mountains should crumble to the sea, I won't cry, I won't cry, no, I won't shed a tear, just as long as you stand, stand by me."  
  
He's crying now, too, just a little bit. I reach up and wipe at his eyes. He takes my hand and gives it a quick kiss before he sings the next verse.  
  
"And darlin', darlin', stand by me, oh, stand by me, oh stand now, stand by me. Stand by me."  
  
The violins start and I lay my head against his chest again. I remember the first time we danced to this song, so very long ago. So long ago, but it feels like yesterday.  
  
We were talking about nothing, like we always did. Xander and I have always been able to say more through nothing than anyone else I've ever known. We were listening to the radio, the oldies station that Xander's Uncle Rory got him addicted to. They'd just finished up their Elvis Hour and cut to an extra-long commercial break. Xander and I started talking about Elvis lyrics, then lyrics to other songs and what they meant to us. Finally, Xander told me that "Stand By Me" described his perfect woman.  
  
When I looked at him dubiously, he smiled his usual Xander-smile. But it was more serious this time. "I mean it, Will," he said. "All I want is a woman who'll stand by me, so I don't have to be afraid. So I don't have to cry."  
  
He meant me. I knew he meant me, as he sat there looking at me with his heart in his eyes. I knew he meant me, but I had no idea what to do. I was scared. I was so afraid.  
  
Then the station came back from commercial, and the next song started. As the bass resonated deep in my soul, I smiled. I knew a sign from above when I heard it. I smiled and I stood up and I wasn't afraid. I reached my hand out to Xander.  
  
"Dance with me?"   
  
He smiled back at me and took me in his arms. And he sang along with the lyrics as we danced, just for me. Just to let me know we didn't have to be afraid anymore.  
  
The violins are done. I look up into Xander's eyes as he starts singing again.  
  
"Darlin', darlin', stand by me. Oh, stand by me. Oh, stand now, stand by me. Stand by me."  
  
We're coming to the end now. I bury my head in his shoulder as he whispers the last lines into my ear. Into my heart.  
  
"Whenever you're in trouble, won't you stand by me. Oh, stand by me. Won't you stand now, oh stand, stand by me..."  
  
He trails off and we stop moving to the music. We just stand there holding each other for a few seconds.  
  
A very few seconds. "Mother!" Anne scolds in the way only a mortally embarrassed twelve-year old can. I smile down at her. "People are looking!" she hisses.  
  
I look around, and sure enough, she's right. We've drawn a crowd again. You'd think these people had never seen anyone dancing in the produce department before. It's sad, really. I smile at them as they start to disperse. Show's over, folks. Most of them smile back. Good for them.  
  
I try to look properly apologetic as I turn back to Anne, but Xander's laughter gets me giggling, and the look on Anne's face isn't helping. Poor girl must think we're insane. Though she really ought to be used to it by now.  
  
"Well, I think it's romantic," Jessica assures us with all the confidence of her fifteen years. "Don't listen to Anne, she doesn't have a romantic bone in her body." She smiles sweetly at her younger sister. She looks so much like Xander when she smiles like that.  
  
Anne scowls fiercely, then shakes her head. "I give up. Go ahead," she says to us, "embarrass me some more in front of the whole world." I hate to say it, but she reminds me of myself when she gets into these moods.  
  
"I really don't think the vegetable shoppers at Sunny-Mart count as the whole world, kiddo," Xander says, trying to reason with her. He knows damn well that trick never works. Which is why he does it so much, of course. "Besides," he goes on as Anne glares at him, "they're all just jealous." He pulls me close and kisses me on the tip of my nose. "I've got the prettiest lady in the world here, my two lovely girls excepted, and all the guys wish they were me."  
  
"Yeah," I confirm. "And the women wish they were me, 'cause I've got the handsomest fella around."  
  
"Do you?" Xander asks with a puzzled frown on his face. "Where do you keep him?"  
  
"In the closet," I tell him. "I bring him out after you fall asleep every night."  
  
Jessie giggles and Anne fumes. Time to wrap this up, I guess. "I love you, Mr. Harris," I tell Xander as I stretch up to kiss him.  
  
"And I love you, Mrs. Harris," he assures me as our lips meet.  
  
"Aarrgh!" screams Anne, and we both start laughing. I pull away and reach over to tousle her hair as Xander starts pushing the shopping cart towards the deli.  
  
"Not a big fan of public displays of affection, Anne?" I ask.  
  
"It's just weird! You guys have been married for twenty-one years..."  
  
"Twenty-two," I correct her idly.  
  
"...twenty-two years," she goes on without missing a beat, "and you're still acting like this. It's not normal! Jessie knows it's not normal, too, but she just doesn't want to agree with me." She glares at her big sister.  
  
Jessie laughs again. "Hey, sis, just count your blessings. Think how embarrassed you'd have been if instead of 'Stand By Me' they'd decided to play Marvin Gaye's 'Let's Get It On.'"  
  
Xander's bellow of laughter echoes throughout the store, and I laugh with him as we walk along. After a moment, I move up to stand by him. Just where I want to be.  
  
*****************  
  
NOTE: The song "Stand By Me" is, of course, by Ben E. King. But if you didn't already know that, there's just no hope for you.  



End file.
